Shibari explained. What is it and how to practice it safely?
Shibari is one of the top five most searched terms.
Shibari, AKA Japanese rope bondage, is a form of rope play which originated in Japan. Historically, the practice has been used as a form of meditation and a way of building trust between partners. Practising shibari involves tying someone up with ropes — sometimes it also involves sex, but sometimes it’s just about the tying up. Before you dive in, it’s important to know about how to perform shibari safely, to ensure you don’t harm your partner.
Kink coach Julieta Chiara (@julietachiara), who teaches beginner’s shibari courses, says “shibari’s rise in popularity shows the powerful role of social media in shaping contemporary narratives around intimacy and self-expression.”
“With its rise comes great responsibilities around technique and safety: it’s a dangerous hobby!” she adds.
Certified sex therapist Gigi Engle (@gigiengle) echoes that social media has played a central role in bringing shibari to the mainstream. “There’s a tonne of imagery on Pinterest and Instagram that features shibari tying and it doesn’t get censored as much because it's not explicitly sexual,” says Engle. If you’re keen to get started, Engle recommends trying a class because “it’s a lot harder than people realise.” Engle recommends buying a really good quality rope — and no, we’re not talking about the kind of rope at your local DIY shop. Engle recommends getting a silk rope, so it doesn’t chafe the skin and hurt you. She also advises having a pair of safety scissors nearby in case you can’t get a knot undone. “Safe words are really important and making sure everyone is consenting and you're communicating throughout the experience to make sure everybody is comfortable and feels good about that experience,” she adds.
Kink coach Julieta Chiara (@julietachiara), who teaches beginner’s shibari courses, says “shibari’s rise in popularity shows the powerful role of social media in shaping contemporary narratives around intimacy and self-expression.”
“With its rise comes great responsibilities around technique and safety: it’s a dangerous hobby!” she adds.
Certified sex therapist Gigi Engle (@gigiengle) echoes that social media has played a central role in bringing shibari to the mainstream. “There’s a tonne of imagery on Pinterest and Instagram that features shibari tying and it doesn’t get censored as much because it's not explicitly sexual,” says Engle. If you’re keen to get started, Engle recommends trying a class because “it’s a lot harder than people realise.” Engle recommends buying a really good quality rope — and no, we’re not talking about the kind of rope at your local DIY shop. Engle recommends getting a silk rope, so it doesn’t chafe the skin and hurt you. She also advises having a pair of safety scissors nearby in case you can’t get a knot undone. “Safe words are really important and making sure everyone is consenting and you're communicating throughout the experience to make sure everybody is comfortable and feels good about that experience,” she adds.
Julieta Chiara’s tips for getting started with shibari:
1. Get to grips with the basics.
“Begin by studying the fundamental principles of shibari, including different knots, techniques, and safety precautions,” says Chiara. “Books, online tutorials, and workshops are valuable resources for acquiring this knowledge.”
2. Practice makes perfect.
Chiara recommends experimenting on an inanimate object first. “Before attempting to tie another person, practise your knot-tying skills on inanimate objects such as cushions, mannequins, or even yourself to get a feel for the ropes and improve your dexterity,” she says.
3. Communication and safety are key.
“Consent and communication are paramount in shibari,” says Chiara. “Always have an open and honest discussion with your partner about their boundaries, preferences, and any medical concerns and make sure to research shibari safety.”
“Begin by studying the fundamental principles of shibari, including different knots, techniques, and safety precautions,” says Chiara. “Books, online tutorials, and workshops are valuable resources for acquiring this knowledge.”
2. Practice makes perfect.
Chiara recommends experimenting on an inanimate object first. “Before attempting to tie another person, practise your knot-tying skills on inanimate objects such as cushions, mannequins, or even yourself to get a feel for the ropes and improve your dexterity,” she says.
3. Communication and safety are key.
“Consent and communication are paramount in shibari,” says Chiara. “Always have an open and honest discussion with your partner about their boundaries, preferences, and any medical concerns and make sure to research shibari safety.”